Time for the baggy pants look to go away … please

This is about so sound as old and grumpy as it gets: Wildwood is looking to ban the baggy pants look on the Boardwalk. It’s about time…

According to a story by my friend Wayne Parry of the Associated Press, Wildwood’s mayor is out to stop the baggy look via a law set to pass Wednesday night. The new law will regulate how people dress on the Boardwalk. If the law passes then there will be no more baggy pants as well as going shirtless and walking on the Boardwalk in bare feet.

Wayne’s story notes that the part of the law getting the most attention is the prohibition on pants that sag more than 3 inches below the hips, exposing either skin or underwear. Mayor Ernest Troiano said Wildwood has been inundated with complaints from tourists upon whose money the popular beach town depends for its survival.

From Wayne’s story – and here’s the link: http://bit.ly/170EuBt — “When you have good families who call you up and say, `I’ve been coming here 20 years, 30 years, 40 years and I’m not going to any longer because I’m not going to subject my children or my parents or grandparents to seeing some kid walk down the boardwalk with their butt hanging out,’ you have to do something,” he said. “I’m not one of the Fruit of the Loom underwear inspectors; I’m not one of the grapes. I don’t want to see it.”

Sorry to say I couldn’t agree more. Most of us old geezers have had our kids on the Boardwalk and really the last thing they need to see is the butt cheeks of some 16-year-old kid. I know I don’t want to see it.

Now here’s something from his story I didn’t know: Known popularly as “sagging,” the trend originated in the U.S. prison system, where inmates are not allowed to wear belts. It was popularized by hip-hop artists and embraced by youths.

The issue has cropped up in towns across the country and authorities in suburbs of New Orleans, Chicago, Atlanta, Detroit and Miami and Jacksonville, Fla., are among those who have passed laws banning the baggy pants look.

The proposed Wildwood law would set fines of $25 to $100 for a first offense and $200 for subsequent offenses. Having to do 40 hours of community service is also possible.

Of course all of the experts on the Constitution are weighing in on the subject. One law professor says the law appears to be unconstitutional. And of course ACLU chapters elsewhere in the country have denounced similar bans as unconstitutional, says the AP story.

Do matters like this ALWAYS have to become legal issues? Can’t we agree that the Boardwalk isn’t the place for the baggy look? Perhaps if the ACLU and others don’t like it, we can make the Boardwalk private, charge admission and require a dress code. Then what? C’mon, trips to the Jersey Shore for families are meant to be relaxing and not for parents to have to explain to little Johnny and Sally that the big boys are exposing their rear ends because that’s what prison inmates do. Sheesh, really?

Have a little class folks. No one is suggesting suits and ties for the Boardwalk but if I want to see a full moon, I will wait until the sun goes down…

– Andy Hachadorian

A sick little girl who is caught in the middle of bureacracy

THERE IS AN UPDATE TO THIS STORY FROM THE DELCO TIMES: http://www.delcotimes.com/articles/2013/06/05/news/doc51aeaddb96a36764417551.txt

According to Philly.com, the parents of a 10-year-old Newtown Square girl have asked a federal judge to step in and order U.S. health officials to change organ-donation rules in order to get the little girl a lung transplant she needs to survive.

Now there have been plenty of arguments surrounding the situation. Some people blame Obama, others blame the conservatives, some blame the government in general and the Department of Health and Human Services and some say there are kids just as sick.

Well, I would say I wouldn’t want to be the person to tell the parents of Sarah Murnaghan that due to rules and regulations, a kid who is 12 can’t get lungs donated by an adult donor so, sorry but your child is going to die.

I do understand that there needs to be rules and processes in the medical world otherwise it would be chaos. But when you get down to where someone is gravely ill and there are medical ways to save them exceptions need to be made. Like this case for example.

If there are indeed three other children like Sarah in CHOP who could benefit from adult organ donors then why not change the rules? The medical experts say that utilizing an adult lung for a child as young as 12 isn’t the problem it once was. If so, then let’s help all of them.

I have been lucky enough to have children who aren’t seriously ill like Sarah. I’m not sure what I would do if faced with that situation. It sort of reminds me of the 2002 movie John Q when the dad played by Denzel Washington takes the hospital’s ER hostage until someone agrees to perform a heart transplant. The problem in John Q was that the dad’s insurance wouldn’t pay for the transplant. Of course that was a time in history when it was cool to beat up on the HMOs.

Little Sarah Murnaghan’s problem is about the rules, not the insurance. But the frustration must be just as bad although Sarah’s parents have taken to social media, the media in general, protests and lobbying efforts to save their child.

I guess what has bothered me is the backlash. Why do people want to bash this family? I have never met the family but I applaud their efforts. Who wouldn’t do absolutely anything they could to save their child? This isn’t a goldfish we’re talking about, it’s someone’s daughter. And sure there are others who need transplants but I have to agree that we need to help those who are the most sick first. It sure sounds like Sarah’s clock is ticking.

U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius is caught in the middle of this one. She is also getting slammed but I’m not so sure it’s her call. However, it’s apparent to me at least that she wants nothing to do with the firestorm created in this situation. Honestly, I’m not so sure I wouldn’t feel the same way. No matter what she would do or not do, she will be the villain.

So at this point it seems like the little girl’s fate is in the hands of U.S. District Judge Michael M. Baylson. He can make a ruling that would enjoin HHS from enforcing the rule about children 12 and under.

I hope he does that. It would help save the life of a little girl and really it would get Secretary Sebelius off the hook. Sounds like a win-win to me.

– Andy Hachadorian

Lives can be changed forever in only a matter of minutes

When you stop and think about it, in probably less than five minutes, the lives of potentially dozens of people – or more – can be changed forever.

It can be that flight you don’t make, that train you didn’t catch, that job you didn’t get or the person you happen to meet at a party who ends up as your spouse.

Sometimes, though, those life-changing moments are tragic. Take the case of Julie Stiller. The Spring-Ford senior was set to walk with her graduating class in a matter of weeks and then come fall she was supposedly headed to Penn State.

Those things aren’t going to happen now because her boyfriend – a former student in the Perkiomen Valley School District – allegedly stabbed her to death Saturday night. Tristan Brian Stahley admitted to stabbing Siller, 17, and hiding her body in woods along the Skippack Trail not far from his home where they’d begun arguing, the Montgomery County District Attorney’s Office said.

Mercury reporter Frank Otto wrote that according to a statement released by the Perkiomen Valley School District, Stahley is a former student of the district who withdrew from school in February.

“We cannot share additional details of the student’s withdrawal from our school due to the investigation being conducted at this time by local law enforcement,” the statement said.

According to an affidavit in the case, Stahley’s mother told police he’d recently been treated “for a narcotics addiction and was currently taking anti-depressant medications.” Stahley admitted to stabbing Siller and hiding her body in woods along the Skippack Trail not far from his home where they’d begun arguing, the DA’s office said.

Often rivals on the sports fields, Perkiomen Valley offered its condolences to the Spring-Ford Area School District Sunday, Otto wrote.

“The Perkiomen Valley School District was deeply saddened to learn Sunday of the death of a Spring-Ford Area High School student following an alleged knife attack in Skippack,” the statement said. “We extend our deepest sympathies to the families and friends of this child.”

Stahley is charged with murder of the first and third degrees as well as criminal possession of a weapon. His preliminary hearing is scheduled for June 4.

Violence knows no boundaries these days. It happens in suburbs like it happens anywhere else. It happens to people you don’t know and to people you do know. In this case, my daughter was a fellow dancer with Siller at a local dance studio. She knew her fairly well and the news left her shaken.

Our kids are just that – kids. They see this stuff on television but don’t ever dream it can happen here or to them or to people they know. But it does. And now the families of both of these kids are changed forever.

For the Siller family, their daughter is gone. And the worst part is because it is allegedly at the hands of someone she called her boyfriend. And for the family of Stahley, their son is likely going to spend most of the rest of his life in prison.

Two lives changed in an instant. If only…

– Andy Hachadorian

No lie, Manhattan moms are hiring handicapped tour guides to avoid long lines at Disney

Not that I know what it’s like to be a millionaire but I’m sure the perks are great. Nice house, nice cars, great vacations, the finest in dining out. You name it. And trust me, I don’t think I should criticize anyone for making a ton of money. Heck I wouldn’t turn it down.

But then comes this kind of story that makes you sick and makes you want to just smack someone.

The New York Post – and yes, it’s the New York Post, is reporting that rich moms from Manhattan are more or less renting handicapped tour guides in order for their own children to avoid waiting in long lines for rides. I am not kidding. If this is true, it probably ranks up there in my top five most despicable things anyone has ever done. Here is a link to the story: http://bit.ly/15Ny6No

To begin with, how awful is it for the handicapped tour guide to know they are being rented out and exploited so that some brat and his mom can cut the long lines to ride Space Mountain or other rides? I’m not sure how they are taking it or if they are aware of it. I would hope they are…

New York Post reporter Tara Palmeri wrote that “The ‘black-market Disney guides’ run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.”

“‘My daughter waited one minute to get on ‘It’s a Small World’ — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours,’ crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida. You can’t go to Disney without a tour concierge,’ she sniffed. ‘This is how the 1 percent does Disney.’ ”

According to the Palmeri story, the woman said she hired a Dream Tours guide to escort her, her husband and their 1-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter through the park in a motorized scooter with a “handicapped” sign on it. The group was sent straight to an auxiliary entrance at the front of each attraction.

“Passing around the rogue guide service’s phone number recently became a shameless ritual among Manhattan’s private-school set during spring break. The service asks who referred you before they even take your call,” wrote Palmeri. “‘It’s insider knowledge that very few have and share carefully,’ said social anthropologist Dr. Wednesday Martin, who caught wind of the underground network while doing research for her upcoming book ‘Primates of Park Avenue.’

“‘Who wants a speed pass when you can use your black-market handicapped guide to circumvent the lines all together?’ she said.”

No one is talking about this. Not the tour guide providers and not Disney, reports Palmeri.

So how pathetic is this? Who could live with themselves after hiring someone who is handicapped to bypass the system for their own gain?

There are some things I can never see myself doing. I’d rather stand in line for two hours and be able to look at myself in the mirror at the end of the day.

And so this is why the have-nots despise the haves. It’s a shame it has to be that way but the haves who do stuff like this need to be quiet and not complain how the have-nots look at them sometimes. It’s the people like the Manhattan moms who bring this on.

So in the lingo of Facebook and other social media – SMH.

– Andy Hachadorian

WCU mini-riot shows the power of social media — unfortunately for some

Full disclosure: I am a graduate of West Chester University.

Total honesty: I was disgusted when on Saturday I heard about the mini-riot on South Walnut Street. The mini-riot involved hundreds of college-age kids. I’m sure the majority were WCU students.

Total surprise: Just how powerful social media really, really is these days.

While I will save my disgust of the events on Saturday for later in this post, most of this post is really about Facebook and Twitter and just how powerful these two beasts of communication are to our society.

We have both a Daily Local Facebook page and a Twitter account. More than 9,400 people “Like” our Facebook page and we have nearly 4,000 followers on Twitter.

So this weekend – Saturday afternoon to be specific – there was to be a party in the 400 block of South Walnut Street. Apparently the police knew about it, the landlord of the property in question knew about it and the organizers of this soiree were warned NOT to have it.

I guess I will let you know the next time an 18-21-year-old actually pays attention to an adult – even if it IS the chief of police of the town and that person in law enforcement says “no” to a major springtime party.

To recap in brief, police said they responded to a disturbance at 411 S. Walnut St. to shut down the party at 12:42 p.m. There were about 500 people on Walnut Street at the time. Once the police broke up the party inside the residence, people moved to the front yard and into the street. As people were leaving the property, some people congregated in the street and a few stood on parked cars chanting, witnesses and police said.

Witnesses said a group leaving the party pushed a van on the street. Several people in a group then pushed an automobile on its side, damaging its passenger side, police said.

While this is all going on – naturally – someone had the brilliance to videotape it. And in further brilliance they sent it to me.

As a parent and proud WCU grad, I was disgusted. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. As a member of the media, I was doing a dance on the desk (obviously, not really dancing) because I knew this had some potential for readership. Let’s face it, even negative events like this are news and people want to watch the video, read the accounts and see the photos.

Boy did I underestimate that theory.

I placed one paragraph and the video on our Facebook page. Less than 10 minutes later there were nearly 700 people who had seen the posting. By evening on Saturday the number had grown to more than 90,000 and as of about 2:30 p.m. Monday – as I write this blog – the number has crossed the improbably number of 200,000. That means 200,000+ people have viewed this posting on Facebook.

To put it into perspective, that number approaches nearly half the population of our fair county. We picked up more than 300 people as new “Likes” to our Facebook page, more than 1,000 people shared the post and more than 300 posted comments of their own. To sum it up in the words of Frank Barone, my hero from the TV show “Everybody Loves Raymond,” – holy crap!

Yes, those numbers are astronomical and it shows the power of social media which seems to be the way we all communicate these days. Yes there was the day of instant messaging (anyone remember that?) as well as cell phone CALLS. Now, we just text or Tweet to communicate and post on Facebook when we want to share something or just vent.

Back to Saturday.

Honestly if I was a resident of that area of South Walnut Street I’d be looking to move. I really don’t see much changing when it comes to these sorts of young folks and the endless parties. And it’s tough to blame the police, the landlords or even the university. What can be done when hundreds of young people flock into the streets or to a house? I’m not so sure the town is prepared for that scenario although one would like to think they are. If the police chief calls the kids thinking of hosting a giant party and tells them not to do it and then they do it anyway, what else can you expect?

I get it that West Chester is a college town but there are lot of college towns where the students realize they have some responsibility to not constantly act out and ruin it for the full-time residents. West Chester University students at times seem to forget that. Honestly, being featured on television, radio and in newspapers as rowdy, drunken fools isn’t the way to go.

Enough preaching.

I would invite any of the students there for the party to write to me and explain how their actions were justified or why it should be condoned. Here is my e-mail address: andyh@dailylocal.com. C’mon in and we will even videotape your side of the story.

I’m not sure anyone will as if it were me, I’d be staying as far away as possible from this mess.

– Andy Hachadorian

A mom long gone but not forgotten returns but to what?

Desperate people do desperate things.

Whether it’s the person who robs the bank because he or she has absolutely no money for food for their kids or to pay their heat or something similarly horrific, there’s a reason why people say to always try and put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

Brenda Heist left her husband and kids 11 years ago. Believed to have fallen to foul play, Heist was declared dead. The Lititz resident recently turned up in the Florida Keys.

Stories in newspapers and on web sites have detailed the unbelievable surfacing of Heist, detailing some of the events leading up to her disappearance. Police spent huge amounts of time looking for the woman and her husband was even considered as a suspect before being cleared.

When the story broke of her being alive – and it made national news – commenters slammed the woman calling her horrible names saying things like it was a shame she resurfaced and that she should have died, etc.

One look at a recent photo of Brenda Heist and it’s obvious she went through some tough times. Now none of us knows what she was going through when she disappeared. The stories say she was going through a divorce and that she met some travelers in a Lancaster park and that was the end of that.

According to an Associated Press story, Brenda Heist told police she slept under bridges and survived at times by scavenging food from restaurant trash and panhandling. But Lititz Police Detective John Schofield said he is looking into reports that have come in over the past day suggesting Brenda Heist’s time in Florida included much less miserable periods.

“We’re getting several calls from people down in Florida that knew her who want to say she’s not being truthful with us,” Schofield said.

Brenda Heist told a detective with the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office that she had recently been arrested in the Tampa Bay area and might be in violation of probation. She told the detective she used the name Kelsie Lyanne Smith and provided a date of birth.

Jail and court records show Kelsie Lyanne Smith, with a matching birth date, was arrested in January on misdemeanor charges of marijuana possession, possession of drug paraphernalia and providing false identification to law enforcement. After pleading guilty, Smith was sentenced to time served and was released on Feb. 13. She was also ordered to pay court costs but failed to do so and was found delinquent on April 15.

What’s really sad is that in spite of all the drama and who knows what happened in Florida, her family doesn’t seem to be in a rush to see her again. And putting myself in her husband’s shoes of those of her two children, I get it. There can’t be any feeling worse than knowing your parent or spouse basically dumped you and took off.

Heist’s teenage daughter, according to the AP article, said the return of her mother has angered her and she is not eager to restart their relationship.

Morgan Heist, said the AP, said the news has made her recall with bitterness the years of mourning she endured when she assumed her mother was dead and feared she’d been killed.

“I ached every birthday, every Christmas,” said 19-year-old Morgan Heist, a freshman at Montgomery County Community College. “My heart just ached. I wasn’t mad at her. I wanted her to be there because I thought something had happened to her. I wish I had never cried.”

She and her father live in Norristown.

Morgan Heist said she’s not sympathetic, partly because her mother had a choice, unlike the family she secretly abandoned.

“It’s definitely very selfish,” Morgan Heist said. “She clearly did not think of me or my brother or my dad at all with that decision. She thought of herself.”

Heist told police she made a spur-of-the-moment decision in 2002 to join a group of homeless hitchhikers on their way to Florida, walking out on Morgan, then 8, and her brother, then 12.

When Brenda Heist vanished, Lee Heist was investigated but was cleared as a suspect. He raised the children without Brenda and got the courts to declare her legally dead. He has since remarried, according to the AP.

The AP quoted Brenda Heist’s mother, Jean Copenhaver, as saying her daughter “had a real traumatic time” but was doing OK.

Brenda Heist was released from police custody on Wednesday and is staying with a brother in northern Florida for now, Copenhaver said.

“She just said she thought the family wouldn’t want to talk to her because of her leaving,” Copenhaver said. “And we all assured her that wasn’t the case and we all loved her and wanted to be with her.”

I’m not so sure that’s the case for all of her family. And that is the saddest part of the story.

We are taught to forgive. Forgiving in this instance is going to be really, really hard. The woman ran out when things got tough. And for a parent that’s the ultimate sin. Her kids needed a mom and a dad – not just a dad and a guy who by the way was obviously was under false suspicion of having something to do with her disappearance.

But in the end I hope that her kids – and her husband – will find a way to move past this. Their lives were forever changed – twice; the first time when Brenda Heist took off and a second time when she came back much to their shock.

This is a strange story to be certain. But in our world of fractured families and torn up relationships maybe there can be a happy ending here. It will be really hard but maybe Morgan Heist, her brother, her dad and his new family can send the message that no offense is too great to forgive. Wouldn’t that be nice.

– Andy Hachadorian

‘Helicopter coaches’? Nah, I just won’t believe it

We have all heard of “helicopter parents.” We have seen them and heard them. Now, according to a Time Magazine article, they have taken their acts to the Little League fields.

Author Dan Cray says that that frightening phenomenon on the grassy fields across our nation has taken flight to other venues where little children and supposed to enjoy sports like little children. Here’s a link to his article: http://ti.me/10q08oO

“Parents taking meaningless games too seriously is an all-too-familiar Little League problem, but in games involving the youngest children—ages five to nine—it’s now the coaches who are creating an unsettling new offshoot.  The issue, psychologists say, is that ‘helicopter parents’ who are obsessed with winning often join the coaching staff for their child’s team, becoming ‘helicopter coaches,’ literally perching themselves next to the outfielders or near the batter’s box so they can continually shout instructions to the children.”

Those of you who have seen this please raise your hands? OK, those millions of hands can be lowered now.

I guess the reason this struck a nerve for me was my recent weekend experience officiating the youngest of ice hockey players – the mites. You have seen them if you have ever attended a Flyers games. They are the adorable little boys and girls who skate and fall – mostly fall – as they follow each other around in endless pursuit of the hockey puck.

Their joy comes in smacking their sticks on the puck and perhaps watching it go into the net. Then they can do their best Danny Briere celebration motion and hopefully not fall on their butts as they do it. It is clearly a joy to watch. At least it is for me. I enjoy these games as these are the most innocent of athletes, out there to simply have fun or to knock their best buddy “Bobby” or “Johnny” on his behind.

When a goalie makes a great save I pick up the puck and give him a little “fist bump.” They get all smiles and it gives them the sense that we are the referees but we’re having some fun like they are.

We had a team of coaches last weekend that had to be the poster boys for the “helicopter coaches.” There was constant yelling, screaming, an endless litany of instructions to the point that even I was getting confused – which ain’t hard.

Cray quotes Temple professor Lois Butcher-Poffley, a Temple University sports psychologist and a member of the U.S. Olympic Committee’s sports psychology registry who says “This is a way for the helicopter parent to gain access where they were banned before.”

And I can see that.

I love this paragraph from Cray’s story:

“Reggie Jackson once created a firestorm by telling reporters, ‘When we lose and I strike out, a billion people in China won’t care.’  Reggie understood: sports is entertainment, and for the players, it’s about enjoyment — something that the youngest children understand intuitively. Sports can be a powerful way of teaching children about discipline and responsibility, but it may be just as important for the lessons it teaches coaches as well. Why can’t they just let the kids play?”

I couldn’t agree more.

These coaches last weekend made my skin crawl. And honestly I think most people watching understood their misdirected coaching techniques. I did notice more than one set of rolling eyes and the yelling, shouting and berating continued on and on and on.

I was definitely happy when that game ended. I felt embarrassed to be out there and even more embarrassed for the coaches. One even challenged a penalty call of which at that level is less of an event than with the older kids.

There was a potential for injury and my game is that I am out to have fun with these little guys and girls but their safety is primary. And if a player does something that borders on a safety issue then I have to address it. It’s my job. Apparently the coach disagreed and the penalty shot cost him the game – or so he says as no one keeps score with the youngest of players.

My response? “Coach, don’t worry — life will go on.”

I’m certain he told his son on the ride home in the car that the ref cost him the game. And I’m sure that little kid probably could care less.

Maybe it’s time to put some of the maniac parents and the “helicopter coaches” out in the parking lot and let the kids just play. I’m sure they would have a much better experience and definitely a lot more fun. We all would.

– Andy Hachadorian