Lately I will have to admit that I am a bit scatterbrained. I think it’s a matter of trying to take on too much. Whether it’s dealing with typical home stuff – new washer, car inspections, taking the dog to the vet – or work issues, I have found myself allowing stuff to fall through the cracks. And most of the time I have noticed and filled those cracks before they became caverns.
Not this time.
Over the weekend, I lost my wallet. This was the first time in my adult lifetime that I lost a wallet. Misplaced a few times? Sure, but easily found with some step tracing. This time, though, it may be gone. Notice I hedge.
Losing (even temporarily) a wallet for me is a killer. It was never about the money although I am not that rich to lose a couple hundred bucks and not be upset. No, it was more about the stuff – or junk as some tell me – that I carry in my wallet.
I have always been the kind of person who made my wallet my personal history book. From a wedding photo from 1981 including a silver leaf from the cake to a $2 bill given to me by my dad a long, long time ago, losing that wallet was like taking a valuable history book and lighting it on fire. Gone. Forever.
Also in that wallet were two tiny pieces of paper – one from my oldest son wishing me Happy Easter to another from my youngest wishing me a Happy Birthday. Those are two things that may have also been vaporized by my loss of focus.
Funny thing – I retraced all my steps and I have narrowed it down to an ill-advised stop on a New Jersey highway shoulder – it should not have happened and wouldn’t if I had just kept the darned thing in my pants pocket.
I stopped at a local BJ’s gas station and got gas in my car. The nice folks at BJ’s even checked the video of me pumping gas (a little creepy I would say but helpful now) and they figured I put my wallet back into the pocket of my pants. So I didn’t lose it there.
I tore my house and car apart and nothing so my highway “drop” is the likely place. And I plan to retrace the trip as I know pretty much where I stopped.
When you lose something like a wallet, there are the pain in the neck chores like calling banks, credit card companies, etc., to alert them to your irresponsible behavior. I can see the eye rolling on the other end of the phone and it is embarrassing.
But it’s that feeling of not knowing where it is. It’s like when the family pet takes off and you don’t know where the dog or cat is. It’s unsettling and not knowing kills you. And of course my wallet loss means the finality of the loss of that wedding cake leaf. And that hurts the most.
So I am in the process of reassembling my wallet. New pictures, new cards. It won’t be the same but I guess I will get over it. I do plan one more trek down that New Jersey highway this weekend to scope out the shoulder looking for my friend the wallet. Maybe I find it, maybe not. But I wouldn’t feel right without giving it one last shot.
— Andy Hachadorian